Chapter 14 - Observations

 

It’s flu season! I know this firsthand. After developing what I thought was a simple head cold a couple of weeks ago, I found myself at urgent care on Sunday afternoon with a sore throat that just would not quit. In fact, my throat was swollen to the point that it was starting to obstruct my airway. Earlier in the week, knowing that pharmacists in our province now can diagnose and treat certain ailments, I visited my local pharmacy only to discover my throat was not something they could help with. I purchased some lozenges recommended by the pharmacy owner and they did help to numb my throat. I also started taking extra strength Tylenol every four hours to deal with the increasing pain. On Thursday, I called my doctor’s office but could not schedule a quick appointment. On Friday I thought I would try our eVisit service. I signed up to participate and submitted a request for a virtual appointment with a nurse practitioner. Late that evening, the NP reached out and did her best to diagnose my symptoms. She asked for a photo of the area afflicted. It turned out that my throat was so swollen we were unable to get a clear picture of my tonsils and the swelling. It was obvious by the extreme redness of the area that there was an issue but, because it wasn’t possible for her to get a complete visual, she could not give me a definite diagnosis and suggested I see a doctor. The infection was taking a toll, and I pretty much slept the day away on Saturday. By Sunday, it was apparent that this was not going to go away by itself, so I bit the bullet and went to the emergency department at a local hospital. Why didn’t I do this sooner? Well, I am a man, and man logic dictates that emergency departments are for people who are sick and need attention. It took me a while to accept that I might just be one of those people. All this to say that my post is running a few days behind schedule.

I must say I am truly enjoying this part of retirement. Not getting sick but having the ability to go to the pharmacy in the middle of the day, stay up late to wait for a call back or sleep a day away without the stress and pressure of worrying about work. By the time I went to the hospital, I considered my stress levels to be pretty high, but my blood pressure was hardly elevated….and I have chronic high blood pressure. During my working days, it would have been off the charts. This is all I’m saying about retirement this week. If you will indulge me, I would like to comment on a couple of observations from my afternoon at urgent care.

I arrived at the hospital at about half past twelve. The process was simple. Take a number and have a seat. After about ten minutes, my number was called, and I was ushered in to see a triage nurse. She took vitals and notes on my concern and then directed me to the registration desk to have a file opened and receive a patient bracelet. I then settled back into the seating area for what I correctly assumed would be a significant wait. The sign on the wall said wait times were three – four hours and that was okay. I knew I was where I had to be to get the help I needed. Sitting in the waiting room of the emergency department is always an interesting experience. You take note of all the other patients, determine how many are being accompanied and then calculate how many are ahead of you. You then guess at their ailments. Who is there as I am, for flu/cold support? How many are injured? We all know that eventually we will be seen and treated and be on our way. Sadly, there is always another group of our population represented. On this day, we were joined by two members of the homeless community. A gentleman who said his name was Donald checked in at about the same time I did. I wasn’t quite sure of his symptoms or his story, but he was polite and very well spoken. A short time later, a young lady arrived. I would guess she was in her mid to late 20s. It was obvious that she was suffering with some mental health issues. She checked herself in and joined us in the waiting area. Donald spoke to her, asking how she was doing. He offered her comforting words, telling her the medical staff would help her. She would sit for a bit and then get up and roam. In a low voice, to nobody in particular, Donald shared that she was in rough shape. She hadn’t slept for days. He said there were about eight of them, all from the shelters, who were watching out for her, both men and woman. They would give her cigarettes and try to keep her calm. There was great concern that she would cause harm to herself. My heart broke for her. On this cold, damp, miserable day, how could we as a society allow this poor kid to be on the streets, at the mercy of the elements when she should be in a warm environment receiving the care she deserves. At least, there with us, she was warm. She asked a receptionist for a drink of juice and the kind lady found her a glass. She would take off her boots, curl up in chair and sit quietly, sometimes talking to herself or singing. She had a terrible cough. She would pull her boots back on and repeat the drill. This cycle continued for a couple of hours.

After almost three hours, my turn arrived. Donald and I were taken into the patient care area at the same time and were placed in curtained treatment areas beside each other. He was first to see a doctor. I listened as he explained to the doctor that he was on medication for mental health issues, but his bag had been stolen from the shelter, and he lost his pills. He shared that when he had been under a doctor’s care and on medication, he was able to function and hold a job. I had previously heard him speaking in the waiting room about the type of work he did. He was a skilled laborer. He performed a job that I couldn’t do on my best day. I can relate to his story. You see, I also suffer with mental health issues. I was diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety several years ago and I too am on medication. But for the grace of God, Donald and I could very easily be in reversed roles. I am very fortunate to have the love and support of family and friends. Maybe he is not as fortunate, I don’t know. With only a curtain between, I heard the remainder of their conversation. The extremely gracious doctor went above and beyond to assist Donald, giving him medication he really needed and directions on next steps to get him back into the system for support.

In the meantime, I saw a doctor who acknowledged that I did have a significant problem. While waiting for a test, I could hear the young woman from the waiting area being brought back for treatment. By this point, she was beyond frustration. I could hear the nursing staff working diligently to assist her, but there was no reasoning with her. She was offered food and other comforts but was beyond the point of being rational. She became louder and started to get violent. I told the nurse who was treating me that I could not do their job. I felt so absolutely terrible for this poor girl. I know that she had zero control over her actions. I also knew that the immediate care she required was not available in this emergency department. I could see on the faces of the staff as I was released and ushered out of the department that they too were heartbroken.

I made my way outside and met police officers on their way in. As bad as this sounds, it really was the only option for this girl to keep her safe. I watched from my car as they wrestled her out of the hospital and into the back of a police car. I can only imagine how her day ended. I hope she is getting the care she needs and deserves.

So, what are my observations? First, we have a very efficient and functioning health system. Yes, it is understaffed so we don’t always get in and out as quickly as we would like. However, we all need to be grateful for the healthcare professionals we have. They do care. Secondly, we all need to own our homeless situation. Don’t look past these unfortunate souls. They are not all drug addicts. And of those that are, the drugs are in most cases a result of living rough, not the cause. We need more mental health support for all our citizens, both housed and unhoused. The difference in circumstances between you and me, Donald and this young lady might only be one bad decision or one missed opportunity. Let’s all try to be a little kinder.

We will get back to the retirement conversation in my next post.

Chapter 13 – Happy New Year!

And just like that, here we are in 2026. For a whole lot of reasons, this was by far the best Christmas holiday I have experienced in a very long time. As it is for many people, Christmas is usually a very hard time for me. The commercialism and expectations have taken a toll. It seems the reason for the season has been forgotten. As far back as I can remember, going to church on Christmas Eve has been important to me because it reminds me why we celebrate. I grew up going to church, as did my children. Sadly, a couple of decades ago, my wife and I found that the church we knew and felt close to was changing. We no longer felt comfortable and, as a result, stopped attending. That said, I always attend the Christmas Eve service when I am able because it is special to me.

 A few years ago, I became aware of another reason this time of year is hard. Actually, it was a very painful event over the Christmas holiday that led me to being diagnosed with depression. I mentioned in an earlier post that I plan to write a blog on the topic of volunteerism. Truthfully, when I decided to challenge myself to begin writing again, there were three topics I wanted to cover. Living with depression is the third and, I expect, will be the toughest. More to come on that.

Anyway, this Christmas was as close to perfect as I remember. We spent time with almost all our immediate family. Those who were missing will be here to spend some time with us in a few days. We ate and then we ate some more. We welcomed new family members to the circle. The weather, for the most part, was accommodating. We made new memories. For this I am thankful.

Back to our journey. As we were approaching our renovation project, we received some scary news from our bank. Jennifer, our personal banker, received a well-deserved promotion and would be moving to another city for her new role. Great news for her, but we were terrified. She had orchestrated our retirement plan that had just launched. Who would look after us now? Were we going to be left having to manage this financial maze? I remember attending a meeting she scheduled with us, to do a handoff of our file. As we sat in her office, the door opened and another lady entered. Jennifer got up to greet her, and she turned to us. She said she wanted to introduce us, not to her colleague, not to her replacement, but to her friend Ann Marie. She was very specific about this. She requested Ann Marie to replace her with our file because it was important to her to ensure we would be looked after. Mission accomplished. We have received nothing but the best support, advice and encouragement over the past ten years from Ann Marie. Again, we are incredibly grateful. I admit I was more than a bit concerned when we received the final invoice for the renovation and discovered that we had gone over our budget. I remember being very anxious heading into a meeting with Ann Marie to figure out how we would manage this. There was no concern on her part. She simply said we would do this and we would do that. She confirmed that I would be okay working for an additional year. That was it. The long-term plan hadn’t changed. We were committed to regular contributions to our registered plan designed to give us the money we would need. Now, we just had to stay the course and live our lives. We had a decade to plan our golden years. We would have to commit to being fiscally responsible, but I felt good about this. We have over thirty years’ experience in making bad financial decisions. Surely, we learned our lesson. But had we? More next week.

Chapter 12 – Merry Christmas!

I’m writing early this week while I have some time during the last few days before Christmas. Composing my thoughts from the car again, as I wait for my wife to finish her early morning appointment. I do love this part of retirement. As a remote worker, I would often accompany my wife to work or personal appointments so she wouldn’t have to find parking, because the roads might not be the best, or because there was travel involved. Mostly, it was so we could have time together on the drive. Time is precious, as we all discover as we age. It was easy for me to work from the car, or a coffee shop. The downside was that I had to be online and available. Meetings sometimes could be difficult, so I would always try to be back in my home office for those, meaning we would often be rushed. I’m happy those days are done.

This morning, after her appointment, we will go to one of our favorite pubs for breakfast and then on to wrap up some last-minute shopping. It is a light workday for her. In a few short months, she will be retiring too, and I am excited for that. When you think back to your youth, what was more exciting than being able to hang out with your best friend, without worrying about any obligations? You were foot loose and fancy free. The only restriction was being home in time for supper. Well, that is what it will be like for us. Our time will be ours. We joke that one of our first activities will be to go to a 24-hour McDonalds in the middle of the night, because we can! We’ve done our time. We’ve raised our kids, given back to our community, made our contribution. There are no more expectations. Our proverbial ship has come in.

It's Christmas week so I’m not going to bore you with more of our retirement preparation journey. I will save that story for the next time. This week is a time for family, friends and the special people in our lives. We have a busy week planned. Tuesday night we will have family in to celebrate the season, with lots of food and drink. Wednesday is Christmas Eve and, because of schedules and logistics this year, we will have Christmas dinner at a relative’s house and open some gifts. On Christmas day, we will host brunch for our immediate family. On Boxing Day, the last of our company will leave to go home and the house will once again be quiet. My personal tradition is to spend the day watching hockey on television. I do look forward to the downtime after the holiday. Things are so rushed leading up to the event that it is nice to take pause and reflect on the year that was and the year ahead.

With that, I will take this opportunity to wish all who happen upon this post a very Merry Christmas and all the best of the season. I truly hope you receive all the blessings I have over the past year. Please take time to appreciate all you have and be generous to those less fortunate. Happy Holidays!

Chapter 11 – Life Goes On

Just a week to go until Christmas. It is a hectic time, but enjoyable none the less. Last minute shopping to do, holiday baking, gift wrapping and cleaning the house. This year seems different. My days are mine. Well, with some direction from my wife of course. Last week I put up my mother-in-law’s Christmas tree and ours. Yesterday, it was my mom’s turn, after we went out for lunch. I learned how to make a pie this week, for our annual supper club holiday get together. I’m off to have coffee with a friend later this morning. Life is good. 

Back to the renovation. It seemed almost surreal. A dream we had had for a long time was about to come true because we had decided to take some serious steps toward our retirement plan. Who knew? This was the furthest thing from my mind when we scheduled that first meeting with our personal banker. Oh well, there was no turning back now. The reno plan was confirmed and a timeline was set. Summer was just beginning and we were excited.

As it turned out, we were going to have a few tough weeks in front of us before we got underway. My grandmother was moved to hospice care and passed away a week before her 95^th birthday. We were sad to lose her, but grateful for all she had given us. Not the material things, but the life lessons and great memories. We miss her dearly. A month later, I lost my younger brother very suddenly. He had struggled with addiction for many years. I saw him for the first time in a long time at my grandmother’s visitation and was so happy to see he had turned a corner. He spoke with clarity and took in his surroundings. I offered up a suit that had belonged to one of our sons for him to wear to the funeral and he graciously took me up on the offer. This was the same guy who refused to dress up for our dad’s funeral seven years prior, when he was in the depths of his addiction. On the day of the funeral, I saw him outside the church with something in his hand. It was a vape cigarette. He had quit smoking! I was truly amazed and cautiously optimistic that I may be getting my brother back. I made the mental note that I should reach out and take him for a coffee soon. It may be time to start rebuilding our relationship. Sadly, I didn’t make that call in time. Four weeks after I had seen him, I received a call telling me he had passed. As tragic as this news was, we were grateful that he passed away in his bed at the group home where he lived, with the people who cared for him close by. It was not by himself in a ditch somewhere with a needle in his arm, which had been our worst fear. One of God’s small miracles.  I share this story as a reminder to make that call when it pops into your mind to do so. Don’t put it off as I did this time and on so many other occasions, with relatives and friends who have enriched my life in one way or another. You may not get another chance.

We delayed the start of our renovation for a week while we laid my brother to rest. The last social event we held in the pre-reno house was the reception after his funeral. The following week was spent filling boxes with the contents of our entire main floor and preparing to move out for a month. Soon the construction crew would be onsite, and our home would take on an entirely new look.

Life was moving on as it does, and we tried to focus on what was in front of us. Five weeks later, our home had been transformed and step one of the retirement plan was complete. There was one caveat to the story. We had gone a bit overboard with the renovation and exceeded our budget. It would mean pushing retirement out by one year. We were okay with this. The house far exceeded our expectations, and the additional cost was worth every penny.

More on the adventure next week. Hope you can join me.

Chapter 10 - The Ten Year Plan

I find myself sitting in my car this morning, parked with a perfect view of the bay. Retirement has given me this freedom. We had rain last night and most of our snow from recent days has gone, here by the harbour anyway. We still have a pretty good covering inland, at our property. Like a lot of people, I am drawn to the water. Being close to the ocean brings a feeling of tranquility. A peacefulness that allows me the clarity to reflect on my life and feel grateful for all that I have, family, friends and a warm bed. This is something that I don’t take for granted. Especially in today’s climate where so many are struggling. We are fortunate.

The first decade of the new Millenium was a turning point for us. It felt like things were falling into place. The sacrifices and hard work over the past twenty years were paying off. However, the future was on my mind. I had recently turned 50 and was very much aware that I had more years behind me than in front of me. If we were going to achieve my goal of retiring at 60, we needed a plan. Yes, we did have our pensions and my work RRSP, but realistically we knew that these would not cut it. The goal was not to stop working and sit at home. We wanted to do the things our dads hadn’t had the chance to do, so we would need an income that would accommodate an enjoyable and active retirement. We were going to need some help. As I’ve mentioned in past posts, working with a financial advisor had not gone well for us, so that was out of the question. We decided to make an appointment with a personal banker at our bank. We met with Jennifer and shared our goal with her. She said she would be happy to assist us with a plan. Our next meeting is something I will never forget. She was more excited than we were! We talked about our current situation, income, current debts, savings, etc. She asked a lot of questions, but one especially caught me off guard. She asked if we had plans to renovate our home. I responded that this is something we would like to do someday but it was certainly not something that would be done in the immediate future. She disagreed, saying that we should do it now because we did not want to have to spend our retirement funds on home renovations. This made sense, but my first thought was I would never be able to retire. Renovations would be expensive. They would no doubt take all the money we had hoped to put away for our future. Besides, we were very close to paying off our mortgage, which to me was integral to affording to retire. Turns out I couldn’t have been more wrong. Taking into consideration our current income and debt load, and our ten-year timeframe, Jennifer helped us to build an investment plan that would accommodate the retirement we wanted. It would mean a regular healthy contribution that we would have to stick to. But it would also leave enough in the coffers to increase our mortgage payment, allowing for some renovations.

Our next plan of action was to meet with a contractor to discuss the renovations we would like to make, and a budget. Good luck was on our side again. We contacted a friend who was a very reputable contractor, knowing full well that we probably could not afford him. We knew him to be a very honest person and had hoped to get some guidance. It turned out that he was slowing down his business activity and now only took on small jobs with a small crew. He would be more than happy to take on our reno project. Dwight came to the house to meet with us. As we tried to determine which areas of the house we thought most needed a remodel, he said for us to dream big and tell him everything we would like to change. The list was significant, but we could prioritize. He took away the list and came back about a week later with a quote. The number jumped off the page, hit me square between the eyes and knocked me to the floor. The renos were going to cost double what we had paid for the house. I didn’t see how we could do it. We took the quote to the bank and let Jennifer perform her magic. Twenty-five years earlier, we purchased our house at a very high mortgage rate of almost fifteen percent. The rate on the table for the renovation costs was under three percent. My, how times had changed. We were going to have to commit to a significantly higher monthly payment than we were accustomed to, but it was do-able. We were about to take the first step of our ten-year strategy. The plan was coming together. More next week.

Chapter 9 – The Forties

Winter is officially here. We received our first snow of the season this week. As much as I dislike the thought of winter, a fresh clean white covering is pretty, especially when you live in the country as we do. Fortunately, our mechanic was able to get our snow tires on over the weekend, so we can now safely hit the roads. Even so, most of our Christmas shopping was completed online a few days ago. My wife enjoys beating around the stores looking for treasures, but I prefer a hot coffee and the peace and quiet of my home to perform this task. I do try to support local eleven months of the year but, as I age, I dislike crowded stores more and more. Now that I am retired, I was able to dedicate most of the day to this stress free.

I had an opportunity to listen to a presentation by a financial specialist the other day. She was speaking to a group on good financial management, saving for the future and retirement. I found it validating. Most of what she recommended is what we have done. In fact, I think we have exceeded her recommendations in terms of staying on top of our current situation. Personally, I feel it is important to regularly monitor our accounts, so we always know where we are. It helps me sleep better at night, especially now that I no longer have a regular income.

I finished last week saying we were headed for a new era. We were entering our forties and had both recently moved into new jobs. This was a significant change for us. These were career positions with full benefits and pensions. The newly obtained university degree helped my wife to land a local government job in a field she was very familiar with. I had been working for several years in an industry that I was very passionate about but recognized that, for our future, I would soon have to make a move. A couple of things led to this. I was working in small business where pensions were nonexistent. I knew the growth potential with this particular business simply wasn’t there. I remember a conversation with the business owner one day over coffee. He was not one to pull punches. By his estimation, I had pretty much reached the top of the ladder in terms of compensation. That was the day I knew I would have to move on. Not long after that conversation, I received an offer from a national corporation to work in the same field I was currently in, but on a much larger scale. For some reason, my gut told me this would not be a good move, so I stayed put. The stars were soon going to align for me. I was out of the office one day speaking with a prospective customer when they turned the tables on me and asked if I would be interested in a position with a global company who had only a few years earlier opened an operation in our area. We sat down to discuss the opportunity and compensation package. An interview was arranged and within a few weeks an offer was on the table. Truth be told, I was scared to death! I was about to enter a world I knew absolutely nothing about. It turned out to be a good move. We didn’t know it then, but I would go on to work for this organization for the next twenty-two years, until retirement. As far as listening to my gut, it was right on the money. The national enterprise who made the first offer was working with a skeleton crew within five years and eventually shut down operations in our area.

For the next decade, our focus was on growing our careers and doing volunteer work in our community. This was a passion for both of us and something I plan to write about in the future. This was also the first time in our lives that we had experienced a steady and consistent income. I’m not going to lie. It was pretty awesome. We could spend money without thinking about it. And spend we did. Outside of our employer sponsored pensions, we really didn’t save. Looking back, we should have been putting a little money away, but no regrets. After years of living pay cheque to pay cheque and worrying about putting food on the table, I think we’d earned this. We were in the prime of our lives and empty nesters. By this time our kids had left home for school and work. Things were going well, although we still would have a couple of challenges to overcome in the years ahead.

Next week I will get into our first retirement discussions with our personal bankers. See you then.  

Chapter 8: Life

We arrived home earlier this week from my retirement trip. The last few days have been dedicated to unpacking, doing a month’s worth of laundry and getting over the jetlag. I would consider the trip a success. My days start the same way they have for as long as I can remember. A cup of coffee or three, some scrolling on my phone and listening to the local news. After being out of work mode for almost seven weeks, I no longer reach for my laptop and headset. And it feels comfortable. My mind now shifts to my list of projects, writing, and everyday odds and sods.  Phase two is underway.

Last week I wrote about purchasing our home and learning some important lessons. But there were still plenty more lessons to learn. Every time you think you have figured something out, life will inadvertently get in the way. For us, it was a growing family and the associated needs. Two kids going through the school system. Sports, drama club and other extracurricular activities. These were our priorities. We wanted to provide every opportunity. Two jobs and conflicting events in opposite directions, often requiring two vehicles. All the normal things that make up a very fulfilling life. And all of them came with a cost. Fortunately, by this time in our lives, we were better prepared to manage these needs. I don’t suggest for a minute that we solved all our financial problems and were living in our own little utopia. Far from it. Like everyone else, we still had our struggles. I think, however, this banking experience taught us to be more responsible in our decisions and fortunately the lesson stuck with us. Yes, we would need to borrow again to replace vehicles, appliances, and so on. But now, borrowing responsibly was far less stressful because of the E word. We were building equity in our home, so we had that illusive collateral that lenders like to see.

This would not be the only time we would consolidate our debt into our mortgage payment. With interest rates still on the down swing, it made good financial sense to do this. Credit card debt creeps up on all of us. Car repairs, Christmas, vacations and on and on. During this time, my wife made a critical decision to secure our future. She went back to school. Her first year of university was completed part time. For the final three years of her degree, she became a full-time student. This required commitment from the entire family and the kids were rockstars. It also required significant student loans. This was an expense we were happy to take on because we knew that to get ahead, one of us would require a higher level of education. This decision paid off in spades, but not overnight. It was a long-term investment.

I think my proudest accomplishment at this point of our lives was being able to facilitate a family vacation. It had been a goal for a long time, and the kids were getting older. If it was going to happen, it had to happen soon. We asked the kids where they would like to go. As expected, and without hesitation, the answer was Disneyworld. We scrimped and saved for almost three years, all the while planning our trip. My wife is destined to be a travel agent in her next life. She researched every option, looked for the best deals and put together an amazing package for us. Every detail was documented. To me, and I think my family would agree, it was a huge success. Honestly, I’m still not sure how we were able to pull it off, but with a lot of dedication and tenacity, we did it. We made memories to last a lifetime.

University and high school graduations followed in the coming months and years. With my wife wrapping up her university education and our oldest soon to begin his, being able to utilize the equity we had built and capitalize on the ever-decreasing interest rates kept us from becoming financially overburdened. We were living our lives and enjoying new experiences. With the help of our personal bankers, we were managing our debt responsibly. Life was good.

It wouldn’t be long before we entered a new era of our lives. The kids were well on their way and did not need us as much. Our focus was changing. It was time for some personal growth. I hope you can join me next week for more of our story.